A Lesson of Balance

Once upon a time, I started to keep a journal (for you youngsters, that's kind of like a blog, but on paper). The first entry was November 10, 1984, and I wrote in it off and on for the next four years, with one last entry – more of a note to myself – in March 1994.

One entry in particular I've always remembered was from August 16, 1985. I gave it a title: "A Lesson of Balance". I had been interested in paradox for a long time, and as I was thinking about it one day, it occurred to me that it was in essence like balance. I wrote it up as a dialog between a Master and a student. Here it is, unedited, exactly as I wrote it. Parts of it are a little cheesey, but hey, I was only 23.

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"Master, why are you called the Silent One?"

"...To learn, one must observe. I am an observer. If you influence what you are observing you cease to be an observer. To speak is to influence. I observe and I learn. Everyone has something to teach. This man teaches of frea, hatred, self-centeredness, and egotism. This man teaches of love, devotion to others, and self-abasement, self-obliteration. I teach moderation, balance. Balance is the nature of the universe. Balance is wisdom.?

"You are a man of great wisdom, Master."

(Light smile) "So it has been said. And so, if I have balance, then I am also a man of great foolishness."

"But you seem to me as one filled with wisdom. Where, then, is there foolishness in you?"

"I do not know. Perhaps in that very statement. Perhaps I cannot see my own foolishness, and therein lies the foiolishness I woulds see. For, if I call myself an observer, and cannot observe, then I am a fool! And worse - a pretentious fool. Yet, having said this, I have seen my own foolishness, and am no longer the fool I had thought, and the foolishness must lie elsewhere!"

"And where is that?"

(Laughs) "I do not know!"

"You speak in riddle, Master."

"No, not in riddle. I speak of paradox, and that is surely the most perfect balance of all. That which is and is not. That which cannot be, yet is."

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Ich Bin Ein Michiganer

There has long been a debate about what to call residents of Michigan. Probably the most common term is "Michigander," but while most people use it, no one really likes it, as it makes us sound like a bunch of large waterfowl, and in fact was originally a pejorative, coined by Abraham Lincoln as a jab at Lewis Cass. Whenever you hear someone use it, you'll see they have kind of an awkward, embarrassed expression, like they realize how dumb it sounds, but don't really know a good alternative.

One alternative that's occasionally heard is "Michiganian", but that's a rather awkward word, and so has never really caught on, and I don't think anyone's ever seriously essayed "Michiganan".

I got to thinking about this issue one day, as I've always cringed at "Michigander", and I thought about what residents of other places that end with "n" are called. There are Oregonians, which is fine for them, but as mentioned above, doesn't really work for us. There are Filippinos, but I don't think "Michiganos" is really going to fly. Same thing for "Michiganis", a suffix which sounds cool for Pakistan, but frankly sounds weirder than "Michigander".

Residents of urban areas are often called "urbanites", and while "Michiganite" has had some circulation, it also has never caught on.

So what does work? I think the best suffix for Michigan residents is -er. Lots of cool places use it: Berlin, London, Lisbon; and "Michiganer" just sounds cool. It's close to the term that people are used to, and so should catch on easily. Therefore, I hereby officially proclaim that the proper term for a Michigan resident is "Michiganer". I consider the matter closed.

(By the way, I think Oregonians made a wise choice. No one wants to be an "Oregoner", and "Oregoni" sounds like something you do with paper.)

Quotes, Quips, Excerpts and Miscellany

I'm a fan of quotes; when I find someone who has something worthwhile to say, and says it well, I like to keep a copy of it. I put them in a text file and use them in my sig line in Usenet posts. At the moment I have nearly 1,500.

As I mentioned in my first post, now and then I say something worthwhile and say it well; if I'm particularly impressed with myself, I'll add it to the file. This post is a compilation of those quotes. Some of them are excerpts from various discussions I've had; others are just ideas that I had and wrote down. So, in no particular order:

• I refuse to go out of my way to avoid offending people who go out of their way to be offended. I believe in obliging them.


• Squirrels are proof that God meant us to laugh.


• Looking at the brain and wondering where the consciousness is, is like looking at a computer peripheral and wondering where all that computing power is, with no awareness of the computer up the line.


• It is the task of a government to protect and serve its populace. But lacking any real understanding of people and human nature, it eventually becomes desperate, and sees enslavement of its populace as the only way to accomplish this task. This, of course, is insane, but welcome to planet Earth.


• I'm polyatheistic – I don't believe in lots of gods.


• Logic is limited. All it can do is describe the universe.


• Life isn't fair. But Life isn't unfair, either. Life is indifferent. Largely, you make your own fate. I won't lie to you – if you keep working, keep moving toward your goal, there is no guarantee you'll ever make it. No one promised you'd get a break. But the chances are you will. And if you quit, it is guaranteed that you won't make it. But if you keep plugging, keep moving, then someday, regardless of whether you get where you were aiming for, you will have gotten somewhere. You will have accomplished something. That's the other guarantee.


• Freedom and security are two sides of the same coin – it is a fallacy to believe you can spend one to get the other. Just as freedom without security isn't free, security without freedom isn't secure. There is nothing safe about slavery.


• You can lead a person to logic, but you can't make them think.


• As a child, the measure of your progress is how much you can do for yourself. As an adult, the measure of your progress is how much you can do for others.


• Nothing causes panic in Hollywood like someone else's success.


• This life has been recorded before a live studio audience.


• No slave is so surely bound as one who believes he is free.


• Corporate taxes are an illusion. Companies don't pay taxes, only people do.


• My concept of God is probably not the same as yours. But then, you could say the same thing about the person sitting next to you in church – their concept of God is probably not quite the same as yours. Nor should it be – God, and the relationship of God to the individual, is a very personal thing. As different as one person is from another, so will each person's experience of God be different. But really, in the end, for those who are sincere, we're all talking about the same thing.


• For most people, life is, to a greater or lesser degree, a chaotic confusion, while the thing people most desperately desire is certainty. Thus, people will follow anyone who can give at least a convincing appearance of certainty – anyone who appears to have made some sense out of things, regardless of whether they actually have or not.


• Since our knowledge doesn't encompass the entire universe, we have to start somewhere, and we start by making certain assumptions. All of our scientific "proofs" are ultimately based on assumptions we make about the universe around us, which may or may not be valid. Science becomes blind when it assumes that a high certainty is an absolute certainty.


• Spirituality without science has no mind. Science without spirituality has no heart.


• I always wildly exaggerate. Well, I sometimes exaggerate a bit.


• A fundamental human right is the right to define oneself – the right to say "I am this," or "I am that." Granting others the right to be who and what they choose to be is the foundation of respect. Violation of this right is the source of much of the trouble in the world. Rarely does a person decide on their own to be evil – they become that way because others tell them they are, and refuse to accept what they themselves have chosen to be. Finally, in despair, the person says, "OK, you say I'm evil? I'll show you evil."


• If we are truly children of God, our stresses, worries, fears and anxieties do not become us. There is an opportunity in every single circumstance we encounter in life – an opportunity to reach someone, an opportunity to learn something, an opportunity to be where God wants you to be; if you truly believe in Him and trust Him to guide your life, then you are where He needs you to be at that moment. If it's a bad situation, then let go of all the fear and anxiety, and take a look around and find out what opportunity there is. What's the worst that's going to happen? If you die, then you'll awaken to the trumpet of God and the voice of the Archangel. Trust the rest to God.

A note about the last item: I am not a Christian – this was taken from an email exchange with a good friend of mine who is. I'm not saying this as a repudiation of Christians or Christianity, but rather simply to be clear.

My Thoughts, Exactly

Blogging. I never thought I'd be blogging. I have always been an anti-faddist. I not only don't go with the flow, I generally don't care much what the flow is, and usually wait until the flow has moved on before I check out whatever it was the flow was all about.

I am, of course, as much as anyone, quite fond of my own thoughts, ideas and opinions. I think I've had quite some good ones, and have never hesitated to bless others with them, in whatever context I happen to be at the time. When I have one that I think is particularly admirable, I write it down in a text file and save it. Apparently, however, others have, from time to time, found some bit of insight or inspiration from them as well; I've appeared in at least three Usenet sig lines, and someone even created a page of my quotes on Wikiquote. It was deleted because I'm not famous enough. Well, yay me.

Anyway, that got me to thinking about making these thoughts, ideas and opinions available in a centralized, publicly-accessible location, since there are probably few people interested in taking the trip to my house to read them on my computer. And those who are interested, no you may not. Don't look at me like that; you're making me nervous.

Being a web programmer and sometime web designer, naturally my first thought was to create a web site for the purpose. I'll do that eventually, I even have a great domain name registered, but right now I don't really have the time to put into it, so I decided to go this route to start with.

One thing I hesitated over is the fact that I have written under a number of different pseudonyms, which I have always made a modest effort to keep separate from each other and from my real identity. Not that it's ever been impossible or even especially difficult to associate any of them, but it did require a bit of research; having this blog will make the job fairly simple. Ah well, what the heck. Maybe I'll become famous after all. Suck on that, Wikiquote.

A lot of my intial posts will be stuff I've accumulated over the years. I'll date it when possible; otherwise don't assume it's necessarily relevant to anything going on in the world today. Although it could be, you never know. I'm like that sometimes.

So here, for what it's worth, for the inspiration, enlightenment, entertainment, amusement or ridicule of anyone who cares to read them, are my thoughts, exactly.

Blogging. I can't believe I'm blogging.