Ich Bin Ein Michiganer

There has long been a debate about what to call residents of Michigan. Probably the most common term is "Michigander," but while most people use it, no one really likes it, as it makes us sound like a bunch of large waterfowl, and in fact was originally a pejorative, coined by Abraham Lincoln as a jab at Lewis Cass. Whenever you hear someone use it, you'll see they have kind of an awkward, embarrassed expression, like they realize how dumb it sounds, but don't really know a good alternative.

One alternative that's occasionally heard is "Michiganian", but that's a rather awkward word, and so has never really caught on, and I don't think anyone's ever seriously essayed "Michiganan".

I got to thinking about this issue one day, as I've always cringed at "Michigander", and I thought about what residents of other places that end with "n" are called. There are Oregonians, which is fine for them, but as mentioned above, doesn't really work for us. There are Filippinos, but I don't think "Michiganos" is really going to fly. Same thing for "Michiganis", a suffix which sounds cool for Pakistan, but frankly sounds weirder than "Michigander".

Residents of urban areas are often called "urbanites", and while "Michiganite" has had some circulation, it also has never caught on.

So what does work? I think the best suffix for Michigan residents is -er. Lots of cool places use it: Berlin, London, Lisbon; and "Michiganer" just sounds cool. It's close to the term that people are used to, and so should catch on easily. Therefore, I hereby officially proclaim that the proper term for a Michigan resident is "Michiganer". I consider the matter closed.

(By the way, I think Oregonians made a wise choice. No one wants to be an "Oregoner", and "Oregoni" sounds like something you do with paper.)